Pasko ng Paglaya

Problem: "It was only a simple thing that brought on the tantrum—like she wanted to ride the mechanical pony at the shopping center," recalled her dad. "At first, she started begging, but we were really in a hurry and I didn't have time. Then, she fell down on the sidewalk and started screaming. This was so embarrassing—everyone was looking. This has happened before—and I admit, I gave in. But this spell was much more intense than the first time."

Solution: Tantrums are difficult to ignore and young children often do not respond to reasoning. Giving in only causes the child to remember what they had to do in order to get their way. The next time, they believe this same technique will work again. If parents resist, the child must beg, cry or scream harder.

If out in public, return immediately to the car with the child and drive home. Designate a "tantrum" chair that is reserved for such temper outburst. Tell the child they may sit here and cry, but you will not notice. Soon, the child realizes this does not work. Problem: "When my child doesn’t get his way, he holds his breath. Of course, this scares me and I do what he wants. Is this normal behavior?"

Solution: When this happens the first time, talk with your child's pediatrician to rule out any medical reason. Usually these spells occur about two and stop by age five. Holding their breath is a way for the child to exercise control when they fail to have their own way.

Problem: Tiffany, a two-year-old enjoyed playing with Megan, a next-door neighbor. One afternoon as they filled containers in the sandbox, Tiffany's mother heard a blood-curling scream coming from the yard. Quickly, she ran out to see Megan holding her arm and crying. "Tiffany bit me!" she yelled between sobs.

Solution: Comfort both the victim and aggressor. Each child needs reassurance they are both loved and valued. Check for any broken skin from the bite and treat accordingly. Get involved in their play by showing how to have fun without resorting to biting. Ask yourself: is the aggressor overtired, hungry or sleepy? Is this a behavior that happens often, or is this a first time offence?

Problem: "On Alan's second birthday, we planned a huge celebration," said him mom. "We're from a large family so we couldn't leave anyone out. This included grandparents, aunts, uncles and numerous cousins. Several of these live out of state and Alan has never met many of them. In addition to family, we invited children of our friends and those in our neighborhood. However, instead of the wonderful day we planned, the party turned into a disaster. Alan was too excited to have his usual afternoon nap; therefore he cried and whined whenever I stepped out of his sight. And instead of sharing his birthday toys, he refused to allow any of the children to even touch one. We were so embarrassed at his behavior? If this typical of other children?"

Solution: Most children are egocentric and believe the world revolves around them. A two-year-old child lacks communication skills of older children. Once language skills develop their level of communication and behavior improves.

Problem: Destructive behaviour among children is on the rise day by the day. It not only affects the children exhibiting the behaviour, but also the lives of family members and others around them. The effects of destructive behaviour may have damaging effects which last a life time.

Solution:
With good disciplinarian techniques, parents can bring in a lot of positive changes in the behaviour of their children. The purpose of discipline should be to turn children into responsible individuals.

Parents should provide children exhibiting destructive behaviour with an environment with structure. This structure should include daily routines that these children can follow easily. Modification should be made as changes in misbehaviour occur.

Because the underlying factors for the misbehaviour are lack of self-esteem, revenge, and power, the environment for managing destructive behaviour must be based on love and praise. Meaningful display of love can go a long way to help eliminate and heal the inadequacies.

While making rules, care should be taken so as to make only rules that are meaningful and purposeful. These rules need to be expressed and enforced with consistency.